My three highlights you ask?

It’s coming to an end. But then, every ending is a new beginning. So I’m not sad. Nor am I happy. Am I indifferent? No, that’s not the right word either. Maybe something like content-but-confused-and-a-little-empty-but-at-the-same-time-incredibly-fulfilled-but-without-words-to-explain will do for now.

So, six months of travelling – I prefer calling it living on the move – is coming to its grande finale. Which is, waiting for my flight to take off. I’ve had wonderful reminders to reflect upon my highlights throughout this trip. Every month or so they’d be defined and put out there. Sometimes they were simple things like finding peanut butter in a remote Indian store called Namaste Chaos (made this up) or more sophisticated things like learning the art of trust. This post will attempt to identify the three highlights of my entire trip. I’m on a mission. Bear with me, it might take a while.

Thinking of going ‘home’ after all these weeks and months that seemed endless at the beginning, not sure. I don’t actually want to think about it. It’s like having to come back down on the dirty ground of reality with both feet barefoot. But I’m also a bit lost when I try to take everything in again, all of the six seemingly endless months. So much has happened that there is not space up there at the moment to process it. And it’s hard to put it in words. The memories, people, landscapes. The food, the trains, the lost shoes. The impressions, inspirations and thoughts. Reflections. Change. A lot of it.

Three completely different countries. Well, same same but different as my new friends the Indians would say. Because yes, in the end, aren’t we all very similar? What I found most apparent between the people here and my perception of the people in the West – including me – is how we want so much. And more. We’re ambitious, not that that’s bad, but it makes us forget to live in the now. We’re also attached to material temporary happiness and pleasure. Too much. Pleasure and joy is a good thing, it’s part of life on this Earth, but we don’t consume it wisely. We don’t understand it. Truly deeply. I know this sounds like an overgeneralisation, but I’ve been in these countries long enough by now to feel and see the difference. It may be subtle. There is people of both mindsets in both parts of the world, I’m sure of that too. But this is just one of my take aways and I’m sharing it here with you. So my biggest lesson is still upon me. It will be to integrate what I’ve learnt here and through my reflections into that world of Western reality. Which brings me back to thinking about going ‘home’. I am beyond myself with excitement to see the people that I love. And that’s probably the only reason why I’m going back for a while. A good enough reason. The best reason ever, it brings me so much happiness just thinking about it. And frankly, I never thought this feeling would ever come back. That feeling of home. Home for me is where the people are that I love. You all know who you are. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to be a permanent physical location. Because that thought is like a rope around my neck slowly tightening and suffocating me. And I don’t think that’s because of the actual fact of being in one place, settling in one place. But the mere fact of deciding where that place is to be. So I do what I always do. Trust and enjoy the ride. Because at least for now the universe has wonderful things lined up for me.

Ok highlights. I’m procrastinating, aren’t I. It’s just a bit difficult you guys.

Can it be that everything is one big fat massive highlight? Of my life? Not accepted? Ok. Try again.

One of the highlights would probably be this last month that I spent in a remote village in the Himalayas. With all its Tibetan influence is has so much character and beauty. And then there are the hundreds of tiny ancient Buddhist monasteries scattered in the valley and high up on the mountains. These people have left an imprint on my consciousness. Not just the monks but the local people too. You cannot imagine the kindness. The generosity when they don’t have much. The joy of sharing, inspiring and accepting. It touches you somewhere deep inside. And it plants a seed. A wonderful plant of all this is now growing inside my heart and is making me want to water it and care for it. Or to be more literal, I want to continue studying, practicing and understanding this way of life and the philosophies of Buddhism. And don’t get me started on the cute kids calling out ‘Namaste’ and meeting their hands in prayer as they do. Now that’s some manners! It melts your heart. #highlightno1check

I had been toying with buddhist philosophies before. Read a book here and there or researched online. But it’s not until I was faced with that light in their eyes that I understood the beauty of it. And for me this isn’t about religion, it’s about understanding the mind. It’s like science almost. A way of life by which I can learn to be a master of my mind and through that live this life more consciously, more present and most of all, calm as a leaf floating in a himalayan lake.

On to the next one. Well, can this be a combination of aaaaalll the incredible, wonderful, beautiful and wise people I met and will forever keep in my heart? When travelling alone, one of the best learnings is to connect with people. Kick your butt and put yourself out there. For the people that know me well, this isn’t something that comes easy and naturally for me. Well, didn’t, I must say. It’s changed. I’m a degree more out there haha. And the connections that you make when travelling are something for life. They are part of your journey. Of your memories. They even influenced where I’d go next. Like little road signs. And there is nothing more beautiful than speaking with someone and realising how you are not alone in this world. How you’re not alone with certain opinions or your way of life. And it gives you comfort. And hope. Thank you, beautiful souls, for being part of my journey!

Ok, third. Nepali Dal Bhat. Haha! This is serious, listen up. Everywhere you go in this country when you order Dal Bhat it’s always ALL YOU CAN EAT. It’s like the National Unlimited Feast of rice, dahl, curried veg, some form of yummy spinach, different kinds of pickles and other sauces, papad aaaaand curd. Boom. Don’t ask about my extra kilos, it’s too good.

Ha. Got ya. I won’t count this as number three because it’s a no brainer and not fair for you. Because it might make you want to quit your job, say goodbye to your flatmates and buy a one-way ticket to Nepal just to taste it.

But it’s seriously good.

Ummh I just realised I only have one space left on the winner’s podium. I think this is turning into mission impossible. Ha. I’ll just continue and we’ll count the number of highlights at the end.

A highlight definitely worth mentioning is how my perception of India changed so drastically after just two days of arriving in the country. Thanks to caring advice of many people I was shitting myself when I walked out of Delhi’s airport at 11pm on the night of my arrival. Horror stories prepared and neatly folded in my head, bumbag clutched tighly and eyes never looking into other eyes I set off with my massive luggage to find my taxi driver in the mayhem of signs and faces. I did, of course, not at all find my pre-arranged taxi driver. Anyways, that’s an entirely different story. The point is, I was so scared thanks to everyone saying how dangerous it is to travel in India on your own that it was probably written on my forehead. And two days into being there a little fairy came along to clean my forehead and put some magic dust in my eyes and my world turned 180 degrees. I felt very safe and comfortable most of the time after that and I was so happy for myself and India. Because how else could I have fallen in love with this country? So, to anyone wanting to do the same. Listen to your loved ones, because they care about you. But don’t judge or form any sort of image in your head. Instead experience it for yourself if that’s what’s calling you. In fact, do this with everything. That’s the lesson I learnt through this. Don’t take anything said or written for what it seems. Listen and welcome it. Experience it. Understand it. Then build your own opinion.

Highlights, highlights..

Bali. It makes the list, no question. And it wasn’t just the magic of the place itself. But everything that I experienced there. Again, the people that I met. Starting off travelling with my teacher training was one of the best things that’s happened to me. It was such a wonderful way of easing into my new life. I learnt so so much thanks to the most wonderful teachers and fellow yogi sisters and brothers. And I can call myself a yoga teacher now. I can share my knowledge and inspire people. And the course took my own practice to a different level completely for which I’m grateful for. That’s also where I kickstarted my reflections. My journalling. And wow, the effect! The insights! The relief! The rest of Bali went by in the blink of an eye, but the memory is so vivid, so beautiful. It’s a place I will go back to whenever possible. The mix between local culture, devotion to their religion and the Western influence is very balanced and it makes it such an easy, pleasant, paradise place to forget yourself.

Technically, I could continue forever with these highlights, but that would be missing the purpose of the top three highlights. I think that mission failed anyways. Haha. I’m not even sure this is what I want to consider the top highlights. I’m revising parts already in my mind. But hey, this is a great thing! It means, I had an amazing adventure and there was nothing that wouldn’t make the highlights. Except for the odd MASSIVE spider. Or the lack of broccoli. Or losing my shoes. Although that’s not so bad at all.

Short and sweet. And confusing.

Recent events have given me a lot of food for thought. Are we supposed to be independent from one another? Or should we attach ourselves – even if just a little – to others? And if a little, how much is too much? Because what happens when this person suddenly disappears from your life. A lot can happen and any relationship is always in danger of being broken. It may be your partner. Your friend. Your parents. Your teacher. Your bus driver! I think we are evolutionarily wired to connect with people. To survive. To thrive. Some thousand years ago it was probably more about surviving. Today, it’s about thriving. We evolve together. Grow together. But how much should we grow together? How much is too much? Because who are you when a part of you disappears from your life all of the sudden! Where do you belong? What do you do? But then on the other hand side, how healthy is it to practice full detachment from everyone and anyone? Isn’t part of happiness when you are surrounded by people that you love! So it comes down to accepting the risk of losing a part of yourself in return for happiness, feelings of belonging and growing. But shouldn’t we grow as individuals more so than together? Shouldn’t we be able to thrive independently before we connect with others? Before we let others be part. So that if or when they leave, it doesn’t leave us completely lost? But then, even if you are fully you, independent you, when you are with someone you become partly them, they become partly you. It’s a natural adaptation process. Can we even hold back from attaching too much? Should we? What is it about all those teachings about detachment anyways! What’s a healthy level? Does anyone ever speak about this? I, personally, had been scared for a long time to detach myself from people. Because I thought it means I don’t care about them. Don’t love them. But then my teachers said otherwise. Detachment doesn’t mean not caring and loving. It means to remain an independent individual that does not rely on others for their own happiness. But I do feel happy when I’m with people that make me feel good. Like I belong. People that I care for and love. So what? Is this just a battle of different opinions or is there one universal truth? There never is, is there. It always comes down to the individual. So I guess it’s about finding your own personal degree of att-de-tachment. But that’s one hell of a task. And anyway, wouldn’t you rather just enjoy the moment of being with someone, than thinking about how much in percentage you want to attach? I guess it happens naturally. But I know for myself I can say that if I love someone, I’m attached. And I consider it a good attachment. An attachment that means commitment rather than dependence. An attachment that means loving rather than being obsessed. An attachment that leaves a lot of space for individual growth rather than losing my identity. An attachment that leaves you feeling sad, but never lost when it’s over. An attachment that will forever put a smile on your face, but never resentment.
That’s all. Sorry, bit messy.

It’s been a while… hi :)!

I don’t know what happened there. Just didn’t feel like I had much to say. I mean, I still don’t really. And I’ve been thinking about this. It’s a little empty inside at the moment. As if someone pressed the stop button on my ability to reflect upon life and my creativity to write. It sort of happened as soon as I got to Nepal. Could it be the spirit and the vibes of India that trigger all the philosophical thoughts? Maybe that’s what all the people talk about when they speak about spiritual India and how it changes their life and their perspective.
Actually, now that I’ve started writing, there is one thing Nepal has opened my eyes for even more so than India. It’s how we have way too much in the West. People, we have fucking everything that we need, even want. We have access to satisfy almost every need, every wish. Most all of, we have more than enough to cover our basic needs. Food. Shelter. But on top of that we also have an abundance of material things and it’s accessible for most people to an individual extent. A double-bed with a comfortable matress that is designed to keep your spine healthy, an iPhone that is always there, 24/7 internet access included, to keep us entertained and virtually connected with people, gourmet coffee at an accessible price that keeps us going through the day. Cars. TV. Airplanes. Wallets with money. Healthy food. Security. A room or even a home to ourselves. Go on, continue the list for yourself.

So when travelling in poorer countries it’s like a slap in your face to see how people live a much simpler, but guess what, mostly also much happier life. Why is that? Well, I believe to be happy, all we need is our basis human needs covered. Everything that comes on top of that is just temporary satisfaction. And I’m not saying that’s necessary a bad thing. Me too, I like to go to the movies or for a good meal at a restaurant or well, travelling! But it’s how we look at these things. How and if we appreciate these things. And how we consume them. Everything in moderation, innit. Balance. Because only then can the temporary satisfaction be savoured to the extent of happiness. Not when it’s not appreciated and consumed mindlessly. So, what it teaches me to be here, is not to feel guilty or get rid of all my material possessions completely, but to be more appreciative. To consume mindfully. To share what is too much. To know my limits of needed temporary satisfactions.

So, you gathered that I’m in Nepal, Pokhara to be precise. Volunteering with children is, how can I put it, SO MUCH WORK! Positive work, good energy, but dang exhausting and I think I just can’t wrap my head around this. They are just kids after all, aren’t they? But they are demanding. Wooah. And needy. What! It goes something like this: ‘Miss, I feel boring! Miss, play basketball! Miss, miss, miss, look!’ You get the picture. Having never worked with children before, at the beginning I struggled to come up with things to do with them, stories to tell them or magic tricks to demonstrate. I just wasn’t prepared and it didn’t come naturally. But then I got better at it. And every day, every minute I spent with these incredible beautiful beings I learnt. I learnt so so much. About love. About compassion. About sharing with each other. About looking after each other. And about being honest, straight-forward and genuine. And I realised how much of this, that seems so natural to the kiddos, we as adults forget. And I remembered! I probably learnt so much more from them than they learnt from my pathetic attempts at helping with their homework. And now after these weeks of being with them and sharing their love, I’m sad to leave. They have grown on me so much. And they have opened my heart. I will be forever grateful for this opportunity and want to continue coming back in the future. And even though I felt helpless at times, even useless, they made me feel like the opposite. Maybe my card games, pathetic jokes and even more pathetic attempts at trying to score at football did leave a footprint after all.

Apart from my life-changing experience with the kids, I also fell in love with the beauty that is Nepal and its people. And I haven’t even seen all that much. Examples like having to give 50 rupees (30 pence!) for good luck when exchanging a backpack makes me instantly love the people. Ha. Superstition, hello! Or the fact that every time you order the national dish Dal Bhat you can basically eat as much as you like. They will load your plate with rice, lentils and other veggies until you can’t breathe. And who doesn’t love unlimited rice and veggies ;)!

Next stop is Annapurna. Despite the monsoon it seems to be a great place to go to. I’m still indecisive whether or not to do the circuit or just go to lower Mustang and do day treks from there. Will see. And keep you posted of course. 

And here are some pics for fun.

Love love love iiiiiiit

Been in Dharamsala or to be precise Bhagsu for almost two weeks, the longest I’ve been in one place I think. But then, what’s time anyway. Someone taught me that time is never a constant, it changes depending on where you are, what you are doing and who you are with. Isn’t it so? The time waiting in line for a fancy London underground hipster restaurant feels like it’s been magically multiplied by three. The time you spend in India however, enjoying life, is special. It goes fast but at the same time in a unique shanti way. It allows you time to soak up all the experiences, to just be and drink chai, to not be productive and star gaze. It makes time stand still because you live in the moment. Each moment on its own, one after the other. That’s sooooo much time! Lucky me. Turning 29 is really just a number because what does it matter anyway, ha. So what I’m trying to say it that I totes like this place and that’s why I’ve been here for a while.

  

But let’s continue with a little rewind first because there is the adventurous bus ride through the Himalayan foothills that you don’t wanna miss out on.

The Himalayan foothills are beautiful by the way, they are lush and green with tons of little hidden valleys with even smaller cute local villages and the majestic Himalayan mountains peak through just behind, the tips covered in eternal snow.

You’re dying to hear that story of the bus ride, don’t ya? Ok, after having left with more than an hour of Indian delay in the heat of the afternoon, I couldn’t have been more happy to find that the window seat I was allocated also came with the biggest window a.k.a natural Aircon eva. Totes loved it. I was also lucky enough to have a real chilled out funny stoned guy next to me who entertained me with his contribution to our philosophical couple of hours. An important note before I continue; the bus was fully booked, over-fully actually, some folks had to sit with the driver lolz. As if that wasn’t Indian enough, we also stopped three times within the first two hours to pick up more people. I mean.. I was just kinda happy I had a protected and unreachable window seat at the back of the bus. Poor fellow travellers at the front, they got into arguments and pulled out of their seats. It got quite bad at the last stop of trying to pick up ten monks on their way to Dharamsala, where the hell were they going to fit? We all had valid tickets, ours however had been taken when boarding the bus, so none of us was able to show proof of course, which is what the monks demanded. Haha. It’s was quite a show. Luckily we were about 20 of us foreigners that sat in the same boat – well bus – so obviously they couldn’t just throw us out. ESPECIALLY because we had stopped in the middle of the night in flipping nowhere land, imagine that. There didn’t seem to be any person of authority and there were rumours that we would have to wait until 4am for another bus to catch up with more space. Not that this makes sense, of course. That would have made the journey more like 30 hours vs 14 hours. Magically, the heated situation cooled down and the bus set into motion. The hours that followed are just a massive blurr of snoozing, bumping and re-adjusting position. My bum can tell you more. 

  

So, we’ve established that despite the bus situation, I love it here. I thought I loved Rishikesh and there’s nothing better, but there is. It only ever gets better doesn’t it! The two tiny places Bhagsu and Dharamkot are a short climb north of McLeod Ganj the home of Dalai Lama. Most cafés and guesthouse you can only get to by foot, how cool is that. The air is fresh and crisp in the morning, the sun heats up the place to a pleasant level during the day. It’s almost like in the Swiss alps, cows inclusive. There is obligatory yoga, meditation, kirtans and satsang and loooaaads of waterfalls and sunrise or not sunrise treks. What’s not to love. No annoying horns either. Haha, in fact, I almost miss that. Doesn’t seem much like India here. Also because many people are of Tibetan origin which gives the place and incredibly interesting vibe and mix of cultures. In the same restaurant you can eat momos and thalis, you can buy Tibetan prayer flags together with Indian malas. After having been in the heat for quite some time it’s the cool breeze and fresh air that I currently appreciate the most though. Aaah, deeeeeeeep breath in and a loooooooong breath out. 
Bhagsu Nag is also called little Israel apparently. Very apt haha. Literally everyone I meet is Israeli and speaks to me in that charming accent. I’m learning so much about Israel’s culture, more than India’s at the moment. Why not. It’s all multi-culti, innit. Most of the signs or flyers are written in Hebrew, some not even in English. All I need to know is how to order hummus and I’m good. Every restaurant seems to have a section dedicated to the latter in different variations as well as shaksuka, falafel and shipudim.

Apparently there is a thing called the Hummus trail. Hilarious. In India it covers many well-known places like Hampi, Pushkar, Rishikesh or Bhagsu but it continues through other countries in South East Asia. And there is one in South America. And probably everywhere else too. I’m amazed by their sense of brother and sisterhood, Israelis love to hang out with Israelis! There are a few exceptions which of course I met (never properly met any of the tribey ones hehe). Some of them like to be extra loud when they talk, so my beauty sleep isn’t always amused.

  

Bhagsu has triggered my creative side which I never even knew existed. I’m drawing, colouring mandalas, making jewellery and carving wood. Not that I’ll show you my extraordinary work, but I thought you might still be interested. 

One of the most incredible experiences was the trek to Triund. Three hours of climbing up steep rocky paths in a limited oxygen situation made me think I need to exercise more. But the panting and sweating was more than worth it. The view up there blows your mind and the majestic appearance of the Himalayas covered in eternal snow makes your jaw drop. We stayed ovenight camping in tents and freezing off our bums. I wonder what bus rides and freezing do to bums in the long term. Never mind. We got up super early the next morning for sunrise. The picture will talk to you about the details.

  

After Chai number 31 in two days we started trekking up further to the snowline. Chai. And then aaaalll the way back down. My thighs and my toes in my perfect shoes felt fantastic.

  
   
   
Many more things are adding to me loving it here, looking at the brightest most beautiful and biggest star every night from my balcony while my eyes gently close. I sleep outside because I can. Or that cute little special bird that wakes me up gently every morning, never leaves my side and treats my ears to blissful sounds and sings me to sleep when the day winds down and the world goes to rest.

  

India truly is how they say. After all the weeks I’ve spent here I can positively say that it is magical. Transformative. Spritual and inspiring. The vibes, the feeling, the energies – there isn’t any words really to describe it, the only way is to experience it. It’s the mix of local people with their head-wiggling ‘is possible’ attitude and the foreigners who were called by Mother India on a spiritual journey.

The circle is closing for me and my work on getting rid of my fear of survival. Sounds a bit primal now that I read it, but we all still have all these primal instincts, we just forget to listen. So, survival and the fear associated with making a living, having one’s basic needs covered or in modern words, having a job that is fun and at the same time pays your rent. Or travels. Whichever you chose your home to be. I’ve worked through this fear and replaced it with trust. This was one of the best realisations to ever hit me. Since then, I’m calm. Shanti ya know? At peace with myself and the fact that everything will work out exactly as it should. And that I will be provided for. All that is asked in return is trust. It’s really that simple. And then things start falling into place. Things start happening for you. It may be something small like a free parking spot at the always busy shopping mall or something bigger like getting the job that you manifested. Which brings me to the exciting news that I felt like sharing with the world. Because dreams do come true. They are just the delicious fruit that your mind grows on a tree of trust. I will be working as a yoga teacher and campaign manager for a beautiful yoga place in South Goa, at Palolem Beach if anyone’s considering to treat themselves to their next yoga holiday ;). So yes, just like that it happened. Because I learnt to trust and never doubt.  

On a completely different note, I really should have chosen those fancier looking Havaianas back in Bali. Because everyone here in India wears the same ones and everywhere here in India you take off your shows when entering a place and everywhere here in India there is always many people with many shoes. You know how shoes adapt to the shape of your feet and then they just never feel right if they aren’t yours. Like second hand shoes. Uggh. Oh well, maybe they will reshape my feet instead.

Om Shanti.

Apologies for the lack of visual proof. The wifi here is so slow that your thumbs almost die of boredom.

x

Finding my purpose in life..

…not. But that’s ok. I figure that the purpose of life is just being. In the now. And surrender to what’s being provided for you. To where you are right in this moment. To what you are doing right in this moment. Not to overthink your non-existing future. That’s almost like a waste of your purpose in life. 

  
It’s funny how so many people come to India and especially Rishikesh on that spiritual search. They look for different things, but essentially the same as everyone. They want to connect with their inner Self and find their purpose in life. You see and meet all sorts of interesting people. Some might call them hippies. But that’s just another label. When you talk to them you either feel relieved that you’re not the only one with a blurred view on what you want and you feel inspired to keep doing what you’re doing. Which is to trust. Some of these people can also evoke feelings of ‘wow, I’m glad that at least my feet are still touching the ground of reality’. You know what I’m saying? So I guess I’m somewhere in there, in this inspiring, mantra-filled, colourful, incense-scented lake of seekers and believers.

I came across a wonderful article the other day that talks about how we need to stop looking and start seeing. Things fall into place when you stop looking, isn’t it so? When I look back on my life, I can positively say YES to that. And I want to keep saying YES to that. It’s not easy, I know, but just the simple fact that is has always worked out this way in the past is proof enough for the future. It’s magical. But we’re rational beings and want to make sense of things. Magic isn’t something to make sense of however, it’s there to let it happen before your eyes and be in awe. If this calls something in you, have a read here: https://medium.com/on-eudaimonia/looking-and-seeing-22a76f9298b9#.ejx1rpc9e

Rishikesh truly is how they say. Inspiring, spiritual and trippy. There is one health food café place after the other lined up along the beautiful Ganga. And of course, there is so much choice of yoga classes it makes you a bit dizzy. Then there is a couple dozens of Ayurvedic clinics, astrologers, healers and other sorts, plastered along the one main street. And ashrams, something like a million different ones. A spiritual place for yoga, meditation and other yogic practices like chanting, kriyas and practicing silence. I went to one for a week long retreat. The programme looked something like this:

– 5:30 Wake-up call (someone with a metal plate and a relentless wooden stick)

– 6:00 Meditation and kirtan for 45 mins

– 6:45 Neti pot (nasal cleansing with salt water to get that polluted snod out. Ha.)

– 7:00 Asana for 90 mins

– 9:00 Breakfast consisting of fruit and porridge

– 10:00 Karma Yoga which is the yoga of selfless action. In Western language: cleaning the toilet, sweeping the floor and watering the plants

– 10:30 Silent meditative walk. SILENT.

– 12:30 Thali Lunch. Chai.

– 1:00 Freeeeee time. NO SILENCE. Chat away.

– 3:00 Satsang. That’s teachings and discussion

– 4:00 Asana

– 5:45 Pranayama

– 6:40 Pooja. Temple offerings and fire blessings

– 6:45 Kirtan, chant chant chant until your throat is sore and your body is floating

– 7:30 Dinnaaaa. Thali.

– 8:30 Evening Meditation. And from here to 1pm the next day SILENCE again. Difficult when you’re sharing a room with an incredibly talkative new soul sister that you found. (I love you!)

The interesting thing about Phool Chatti Ashram is that while other ashrams have Swamis and gurus that are being worshipped, at this place the holy river Ganga is the guru. She’s a goddess. A goddess of nature. Flowers, chants, prayers are offered for her and believers ask for her blessings. She’s the most beautiful river I haver ever seen.

This is the prayer mantra for Mother Ganga: ‘Om Ganga Mai, Ganga Mai, Ganga Mai Mai’. I would totally sing it to you if I could. Haha. Those who know me are probably instinctively closing their ears. Anyways.

I also wrote a few words for Mother Ganga in an inspired moment.

You are beautiful Mother Ganga. A Goddess. Feminine and gentle and yet so powerful and dangerous. You nourish, revitalise, heal. Your banks are home to the softest sand my feet have ever felt. You provide comfort, support, wisdom. You whisper, sooth. You provide answers to those who dare to listen. Your voice hypnotising, meditative. Your water the colour of Jade and Turquoise. It cleanses, refreshes, feeds.

   
   
On the last evening we had a closing ceremony by the river with a massive bonfire. I loooove bonfires. This one was special. Gazing at the stars in the refreshing breeze of the river valley, sitting on soft sand still warm from the sunshine, listening to guitar lullabys, dwelling in the aftermaths of a week long journey within. Bliss.

   
 
So, Rishikesh. I’m way too comfortable here. Well, is there such a thing as too comfy? It feels great. Part of me thinks I should move on and discover more places. Up North maybe, where it’s cooler. But why do that just because I think I should, when I’m perfect where I am now. On that note, someone told me that whenever you use the word ‘should’ is when you aren’t living in the now and create unnecessary dissatisfaction and expectations. Drop it. Forget it. Never use it again.

   
   
Ganga Aarti is an evening ritual which is performed every day in Rishikesh, Haridwar and Varanasi. To worship the goddess Ganga. It’s a beautiful ritual where people come together in a devotional moment to pray. Indians and foreigners alike sit butt to butt, stand shoulder to shoulder as the evening sun sets and it creates a magical moment.

   
 
Can we just have a moment for the monkey that ate my raw vegan super healthy superfood chocolate balls. I mean, really?! He was as big as me, so I wasn’t hungry enough to fight.

I’ve also lost count over how many times I’ve said Namaste in the last three weeks. Namasteeeeeee

And I can’t get my feet clean.

  
‘The place you are looking for, is the place from which you are looking.’ – Mooji

   
    

Blessings x

 

Varanasi – next level chaos

After 18 seriously dreadful hours on a train I made it to Rishikesh, yay. My berth was allocated by a lovely Indian family not meaning any harm, but it was right underneath the AC which was on full blast for the whole of the journey – right in my face. That plus me having overindulged in aaaalll sorts of unknown and interesting-looking food the day before didn’t help to make those loooooong 18 hours more pleasant. Uggh. Well I’m here now and I’ve treated myself to a nice place for a change. It’s called flashpacking apparently.

   
 

But before I start talking about now I want to rewind a little back and tell you about Varanasi. Probably the most bizarre place I’ve seen so far. It’s basically where you see a dead body dressed in gold being carried to the Ganga while you’re drinking your Lassi or choosing your Indian brass anklet. Hindu people come here to cremate their loved ones. In public. And it’s a massive tourist attraction. I mean, isn’t that just so wrong in more than one way? I had seen enough dead bodies only after an hour that I could picture the cremation and thought it might be a bit more respectful to leave the people to their ritual and mourning without peaking over their shoulder to take that money shot. People come to die in this holy city because they believe it offers moksha which is the release of the cycle of rebirth. Ironically, the city is also called Kashi which means The City of Life.
   
   

Hindus also bathe in the holy river Ganga – or Ganges – to wash away their sins. On a side note (let’s not tell them) the water has been declared as excessively polluted to the extent that it is septic and has also been declared as highly unsafe for agricultural use let alone bathing or drinking. The people have such strong religious believes around Ganga that even if they did know it’s potentially poisonous they’d still stick to their traditions which is understandable. That’s perhaps why the new Indian Prime Minister is putting a lot of effort and money in plans and actions to clean the Ganges.

The old city of Varanasi is a huge labyrinth that extends back from the river ghats – there is no traffic other than huge cows as the little alleys are too narrow. And it’s hard not to get lost. So much fun :)!

   

 

In Varanasi I also found Sadhus and Aghoras and other Gurus. The ghats are full of people painted in white ash – yes, THAT ash, saffron-coloured clothes and metal tins for spiritual donations. India’s wandering holy men. They have renounced their worldly life, said goodbye to both their material attachments and their families, and now lead a life of celibacy, ascetic yoga, and a search for enlightenment. These holy men live in caves, forests and cemeteries or Hindu temples. Sadhus live of donations as they are believed to heal karma for the greater good. And once you start reading about their believes and how they live you want to know more. It’s so interesting! Have a google yourself if this sounds intriguing, because if I start to copy paste from Wikipedia, it becomes boring :). Here, for the lazy ones: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadhu 

Sadhus also take part in a mass pilgrimage called Kumbh Mela together with millions of other Hindus. They come together to bathe in a holy river every twelve years only. This year it is taking place in Haridwar where I happened to arrive on the train at 3am. At least there where something like a million other people at the train station and beyond and I didn’t feel so lonely in the early morning trying to find a taxi :).

Not my own. I’m glad it’s not 😉

Sadhus also smoke charas, Indian hash, as a form of worshipping Lord Shiva. Shiva is generally pictured meditating alone in the Himalayas, his eyes half closed from the effects of his hash habit. 

Not my own. They don’t let you take a pic for free.

Which leads me to the next topic. Hash is a major thing here. It’s grown and produced in the Himalayan region and readily available for Sadhus and tourist and all other people alike. Whereas for Sadhus it’s holy, for tourists it’s fun. I don’t wanna know what curse the Sadhus lay on us tourists if we smoke dry all their supply, ha.

So, charas – the Indian Hash – is what’s smoked the most. But you can also get weed, apparently it grows everywhere. Like nettle in Europe maybe. And then there’s also Bhang. A form of cannabis that is eaten, mostly in the form of a Bhang Lassi. India is high!

   
   

Lassis are also enjoyed in a drug-free version with millions of different flavours. The Blue Lassi place in Varanasi is one of the oldest and most famous. Lassis are made fresh and it’s quite a show. And it’s so so good! Waah. Maybe that’s what made me sick. I had like five. With banana and coconut. With saffron and pistachio. With mango. Mango and chocolate. Cashew nut.

Continuing on the food train, you get Jaggery which is a raw form of sugar with your teas here. And it tastes nothing like sugar, it’s so good! It’s basically concentrated cane juice. Aah which by the way is so good too!

Then next up is Idli. A South Indian breakfast dish made of steamed lentil-rice cakes served with chutney and sambar.

  

And the last one for today is Pani Puri. It’s a typical Indian street snack which they call Chaat. All those things on the side of the road you’re told not to eat is Chaat. I did though. Maybe that’s what made me sick. I’ll never know. Back to Pani Puri. It’s a crispy deep-fried hollow ball of something that’s filled with a potato, chickpea and onion mix – that’s the Pani. It’s then eaten by filling the inside with flavoured water which is the Puri to the Pani.  The avocado to the sourdough bread. Ha, I wish! But, it’s pretty delicious. Maybe not for a Western stomach so much.

  

And that’s happy me. Before the street food.

  

Indian trains and Chai tea

My first train ride was interesting to say the least. Haha. I had my driver take me all the way to the platform and when I saw the colourful and loud crowd of people, rickshaws, dogs, cows and waving hands in front of theentrance at 6am. I was glad I did.

Indian train stations are actually quite organised. Not that I thought they were not, ahem, but still surprising. They also have an interesting way of organising how the people wait for the train. Waiting rooms range from sitting on the ground together with the cutie dogs to Upper Class Ladies, to VIP and VVIP. I wonder what defines one to be VVIP.So I got on the train in the right section that was parked the wrong way round to find three men staring at me. And nobody else. They were friendly and once they started snoring on their little beds, I felt myself relaxed completely. And after some obligatory Chai I arrived in Agra 3 hours later. 

Other than the stunning Taj Mahal and the Red Fort, there isn’t much else to see or do in Agra. So after a short night with fun people in my dorm I went on another train ride to Jaipur. And the longer I’m travelling to more people I meet – lots of them, actually most, travel on their own too. That gives you an extra piece of confirmation that what you’re doing ain’t all that crazy or stupid like many lovely people would have tried to pollute my confident travel plan with ;). And I love those people for it, it means you care, thank you! But I can assure you now, that I’m fine. I’m more than that, I’m great! I admit that it is kinda heart-stoppingly-unnervingly-scary-fucking fabulous at first, but then after some time you’re almost like a local. If it wasn’t for the stares and picture requests that remind you of the opposite haha.

  
So Jaipur is great. There is a lot to do, nice coffee places, restaurants and hangouts. And tattoo shops. Treated myself to one that I’d been wanting forever. I couldn’t be happier with the result :)!

  
Sightseeing in Jaipur is like anywhere else though. Forts. Temples. Palaces. Markets. Tuktuks and a million people cramped into one square metre. Elephants, cows, donkeys, tigers, dogs and flies. Curries. Chai tea when you don’t want to buy Pashmina shawls, silver rings or gemstones, at least its really tasty and your teeth fall out thanks to a touch of sweet. Check it out for yourself:

  
  
 
  
When you really just want to take a nap right on the spot because sight seeing is so exhausting. Phew.  

India also hasn’t discovered the beauty and convenience that is a zebra crossing. Lights inclusive. It’s basically mission impossible to cross a road jam-packed with cars, bicycles, tuktuks, busses, cows and more tuktuks. All honking in a beautiful Indian orchestra. It’s quite a circus. A cool one. Not when you want to cross the road and you literally have no other option. You just gotta run. FAST and in the tiniest possible chance of the right moment of milliseconds.

And one more thing, Indian people loooohooohoooooove to burp. Loud. With open mouth. And extra sigh at the end. It’s kinda funny actually.

M’am only one more shop

Today’s been epic. In more than one way, good and bad ways. But I’m here, in the middle of the mayhem that is Delhi. After a slightly dodgy taxi ride with slightly speed obsessed driver in the more than slightly dark, paying double because arranged driver couldn’t find me (not that I was almost the only foreigner at the airport at that late hour), unfriendly hotel staff, a WHOLE day of sight seeing and ‘only one more shop m’am. only looking and if not like, not buy!’ I love how simple life is in Delhi, not like, not buy! Duh! I did buy. Only a new journal though and I think I bargained hard. No biggie. In the second shop I was sorta forced to visit I made the round super quick just for the sake of it. Too quick apparently. My driver didn’t get points registered with the textile mafia for bringing customers. Oooops, sorry driver. He wasn’t pleased, I’m not exactly a doozy of a customer. Next up more dodgy SIM card and train ticket businesses. I have both now. And the next couple of days will reveal how legit they are. Ha. I believe in the good. It can’t be all that bad and frankly it isn’t as long as you stay on your toes. If that’s a thing. 

So with that massive extensive sight seeing tour I’ve exhausted myself and my limited sight seeing capability. But I’ve got some great shots on my camera. I’ll just need to remember which tomb is which sight at some point in the future. One of the sights deserves some more attention. The Lotus Temple or also called Baha’i House of Worship. Its teachings are based on the concept of Oneness of God, Oneness of Religion and Oneness of Mankind – isn’t that so true? So, we’re guided into the beautiful inside of the lotus in small groups, noise forbidden as it’s a place of meditation. And as I take my seat, I can feel random tears urging me to let them break free. I had no idea where they were coming from, it was so sudden, literally the moment I sat my bum down on the bench. Flippin powerful place. I let them run for a bit. No noise, promise. And went on with my day feeling much more relaxed and grounded. I mean, not that I don’t believe in powerful energies and magical places, but it’s a different story when you can actually feel.

So here I am. Writing down my day eating Pizza Hut – yes, you are actually reading PIZZA HUT – on my shabby hotel bed out of fear of Delhi Belly. Haha! What an idiot, I was good for lunch though! Dahl and rice, nomm nomm. Ah and you get cubes of sugar cane with cumin and fennel seeds for digestion after your meal. How cool! Obligatory Chai Tea for dessert.

   
 

It’s a see you again. Fo shizzles.

I’m down to my last couple of days in beyond fabulous Indonesia and even more magical Bali. A piece of my heart will stay here. Forever. Anyone that’s been to this Island can probably relate and will agree that nothing quite compares. To the beauty of nature. The countless beaches with their gentle but powerful and relentless waves perched beneath stunning cliffs and hidden between massive rocks. The people. Always friendly and smiley, helpful and kind mixed with a great and fun crowd of laid back surfer dudes and bikini chicks.More nature. Beautifully laid out over rolling hills and volcano peaks. Lush green jungle animated by thousands of animals, birds and insects. And monkeys. Cheeky monkeys that will steal your panty hanging over the balcony if you’re not careful. And don’t get me started on the food again. Nasi Goreng and I = BFFs. And then there’s the vibe. The feeling. It immerses you, that Bali Vibe. It makes you feel free. Liberated. Blissful. Joyous. And like there’s nowhere you need to go. Nothing you need to do. Just be. And soak it all up.

I can confidently say that the past two months with all that I’ve done and seen, all the incredible people I’ve met, got to know and spent time with, lead the list of favourite times in my life. Well, THE favourite time really. Don’t get me wrong, being the lucky bitch that I am, I’ve had countless great times and moments. But this time I think I’ve had an even greater time because I enjoyed every second, lived each day at a time, each moment at a time. And with that, two months all of the sudden feel like two years. In a good way. Two fucking amazing years. Because when you savour each moment so much. Taste it. Smell it. Feel it on your sun-kissed skin and in your heart, it’s almost like time stands still just for you and that very moment. Someone told me to be a participant. In life. In the moment. Immerse fully. That’s when the moment becomes blissful eternity.

Thank you, Bali. You will forever be the lover of my soul and the best friend of my memory.

Next up, India. With all it’s craziness. I’m excited. I need to dig out my scarves, long sleeves and sunglasses that I don’t have. Never had. Imodium, be ready. Haha. Good luck to me. ‘Hati hati’ as Indonesian people would say.

Ok, I’m off to enjoying another of a million stunning sunsets with my feet in the cool white sand and my ears filled with that calming sound of ocean waves.

Laters xx

   
 

   

The universe always provides.

We just forget to trust sometimes, don’t we. Since the teacher training and all our chakra work and healing I’ve actively started to practice trust again. I repeat affirmations. That the universe always provides. That there is abundance. And not only does it just make you feel incredibly good and safe, but it also flippin’ works guys. I’ll give you an example, thanks to my yogi brain I forgot to retrieve my debit card from the ATM after I’d taken out the cash. Because also, unlike in Europe or other places where you get your card out before the money, over on this side of the world things work a bit differently and the other way round. Anyway, I forgot the card and it got pulled in, but all I could think about was that I had money to buy a fresh watermelon juice ha. Ok, next morning, I want to get some more cash out, but my debit card isn’t in my wallet anymore. I almost broke my head trying to figure out what happened to it. Did it get stolen? Na. Did I lose it? Mmmh, but where? After emptying out all my pockets and bags and pouches and nerves I still couldn’t find it and thought that the only plausible explanation is that I left it in the ATM. Whoo. Knowing how cards get pulled in and destroyed, I was certain I had to order a new one from London that would arrive at my old place because I haven’t change the address yet and that my old flatmates will have to send it to me somewhere in Asia without having an address and knowing when I’ll be where. You get the picture. Small moment of despair. But, speaking to a few people took the edge off and I started to trust. Think positive. And that triggered a series of lucky events that eventually lead to having my card back within two hours. Thank you, universe. And yes, I’ll take it as a lesson to be a bit less yogi brain and a bit more organised 🙂

I’ve spent the last four days on an old school boat swaying away in the beautiful place that is Indonesia. We passed hundreds of deserted islands, stunning beaches and volcano peaks on a boat where having a bucket of salt water on board to wash your hands after using what they called the toilet was the most luxurious thing we had. Actually, that’s not true, sleeping open air on the top deck underneath the stars, that was luxury. Not having a shower or soap or anything else that us Westerners consider standard amenities, humbles you in many ways. Grounds you. Liberates you. Because these things are so trivial when you take in the big picture of the beauty of life around you. Being on that boat with amazing and inspiring people, swimming with dolphins and snorkling for manta rays, sea turtles and corals, jumping into the crystal clear water from the top deck and watching the sun rise and set every day – that’s luxury. Another kind of wealth. Soap is totally overrated.

I’ve also taught a yoga class on the top deck which was so much fun and slightly difficult when trying to balance on one leg. We saw Komodo dragons and other incredible wild life. And above all, I connected with many like-minded people. Nomads. World Citizens. Just people that live each day at the time. And that puts your mind at ease. It’s a reassurance that wanting to live my life a certain way isn’t all that irresponsible and risky. I even found myself reassuring other people with things that I’ve come to realise in the last couple of weeks. Sharing and connecting is one of the greatest and most useful skills a human being possesses.

I’m now on the Island of Flores, a beautiful and vast place with more beaches, volcanos and tiny villages with smiley people. Life is good.

And I’m so tanned. 🙂